I don’t care if you take the opening kickoff of the Super Bowl back for a touchdown. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is as electric as bare ass cheeks running across the field mid-game. Streakers are as much a part of sports culture as the Hall-of-Fame players whose talent captures the attention of millions around the world. Most of the time, streaking at a sporting event immediately lands you in jail with a hefty fine coming their way. But on the rarest of occasions, revealing runs work to perfection.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the greatest streak of all time.
An unidentified teenager pulled off the ultimate heist under the Friday night lights. During a homecoming high school football game at Seminole High School in Pinellas County, Florida, the white-cheeked bandit made his way across the field with nothing more than a Spider-Man mask on his head.
The Spider-Man Streaker, as he became infamously known, (Man, what an alias…) didn’t get caught with his pants down. In fact, as the high school football crowd went wild, he managed to evade what appears to be a police officer or security guard by jumping not one, but two fences. After succeeding in not snaring his dangler on the fencing around the football field, a getaway car pulled up, and the Spider-Man Streaker sailed off into the night.
It was, in a word, perfect.
WARNING: This video contains NSFW content, including a heaping-helping of dude ass.
Florida High School Streaker
Sadly for anyone hoping this naked man’s Bonnie and Clyde escape saved him, the New York Daily News reported that he was later arrested and faced charges of indecent exposure and obstruction of justice after an eyewitness managed to get part of the getaway car’s license plate.
It’s a damn shame, too. This kid had the agility and foot speed to become a legitimate Division I prospect. But if there was a Streaking Hall of Fame, you can be damn sure the Spider-Man Streaker would be a first-ballot induction after his incredible plan.
This post was originally published on February 20, 2020, but an escape plan like that is too good not to bring back.