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The rejected nickname proposals for North Dakota’s new mascot are ridiculous

The University of North Dakota is changing its name away from the Fighting Sioux as to not offend anyone, and they decided to allow people to send in ideas. ANY IDEAS, which was a horrible decision.

They have narrowed down the proposed nicknames into the “consideration list” and the “non-consideration list,” and for whatever reason the school released every single nickname proposal they got, even ones that are awful or completely inappropriate, with the explanation for why they should pick that one.

Here are some of the best/worst from each list, with my commentary in parentheses:

CONSIDERATION LIST (Mind you, these are names that could actually become the official mascot):

Abdominal Snowmen — Because f*** it why not, it’s basically the north pole there. (This made the list. UNEDITED. Amazing)

Arctic Butterflies (That’s it. There’s no explanation. Just the name)

Barn Swallows — It just fits (‘Nuff said)

Bassett Hounds — Bassett hounds are great dogs with good smell When they come out onto the ice the music can say “can you smell what the hounds r cooking” (Love it.)

Bison Slayers — The name says it all. (Damn right it does)

Bleating Sheep — Baaaaa (I can’t stop laughing at this)

Blue Unicorns — A fictional nickname is extremely unlikely to cause offence to a group and cause us to go through this trouble in the future. (They aren’t wrong here)

Busters — Different (All I can think of is Vin Diesel calling Paul Walker’s character “Buster” in the first Fast & Furious movie and now I’m sad)

Chameleons — A cool lizard – changes colors. Can have all the school colors with it. Can change as uniform colors change. (Think of the jerseys!)

Chupacabra (Again, no explanation)

Fighting Mongeese (There were a lot of “Fighting _____” but I like this one the best)

Frost Men Frost Maids — Daaaaaaaaamn it’s cold here. (Accurate)

Geckos — Geckos are f***ing badass and our colors could still be green and white. They are are also cold blooded which is cool. (Can honestly say I’ve never heard someone describe a Gecko as “f***ing badass)

Hamsters (Go Hamsters)

Hedgehogs — Ron Jeremy is my inspiration (Hahhahahaha)

Orangutans — Orangutans are awesome (Accurate)

Otters — otters are p cool. (Also accurate)

NON-CONSIDERATION LIST (These got SUPER WEIRD, and many were very inappropriate):

2% terrorists — These terrorists forcing this thing amount to 2% (WELP, off to a good, totally not racist start)

abcdefghjklmnpqrtvwyz — The letters s, i, o, u, and x have deleted from the alphabet because we are not the sioux. (The salt. It burns)

Admiral Ackbar (IT’S A TRAP)

Baby Punchers (Again, no explanation)

Beached whales — As a land lock region, where else would whales be. (Very valid point)

Boobs — Boobs are great. Lets glorify boobs instead of being racist. (There are honestly a ton of worse names that were proposed)

BRRioux! — Rhymes with Sioux for the fight song and sounds like a cold ND winter shiver. (Ingenuity!)

Bush did 911 — yep (TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE SUGGESTED THIS)

Canadians — Look at your hockey team. (This was suggested more than 10 times)

Chalupas — Chalupas are delicious. It’d also be a unique, instantly recognizable nickname. (Just facts.)

Chia Pets — Because we are all waiting for you to grow, but in reality you are slowly dying. (I did NOT expect “Chia Pets” to take such a dark turn)

Chupacabras — Incrediibly unique (I’m confused. This made the consideration list, too)

Dank memes — Because everybody loves dank memes (It’s true, they do)

Dem Boyz — Wiz Khalifa is from North Dakota, and one of his popular songs is Dem Boyz. (He is indeed from North Dakota)

Fight ‘n Sue — And have a lawyer with a brief case for the logo. / This will satisfy all contentious parties! (This is fairly brilliant)

Fighting Corgis (This has my vote)

Golf Balls — Cool golf ball mascot (Sure)

Harlem Globetrotters — ball is lyfe (Ball is indeed lyfe)

Manbearpig — Strong and warrior like (A lot of votes for Manbearpig! They were super serial)

Rough Riders — Theodore Roosevelt is a ND legend! (There were like, 200 suggestions of this and NOT A ONE mentioned DMX. Y’all are all fired)

Zesty pickles — because they are juicy (certainly would be unique)

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