F361998 01: FILE PHOTO: National Football League wide receiver Rae Carruth, who is facing murder charges in the drive-by shooting of his pregnant girlfriend, was arrested on Wednesday when found hiding in the trunk of a car in a hotel parking lot in Tennessee, a police spokesman said. Carruth of the Carolina Panthers is seen in this November 9, 1997 photo during a game against the Denver Broncos at Mile High Stadium in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Brian Bahr/Allsport/Liaison Agency)

Former first-round pick turned felon seeking custody of son he once tried to prevent being born

This is an ugly mess.

Rae Carruth, a former first-round pick by the Carolina Panthers, is seeking custody of his son despite serving time after being found guilty of conspiring to murder.

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It is here where it is important to note that he conspired to murder Cherica Adams, who was pregnant with his child, and Carruth went through with the horrible act to prevent that child's life being brought into this world.

Carruth wrote a letter to Adams' mother, apologizing for the murder.

"I'm apologizing for the loss of her daughter. I'm apologizing for the impairment of my son," Carruth told WBTV. "I feel responsible for everything that happened. And I just want her to know that truly I am sorry for everything."

As for why he believes he should have custody of the son he was once willing to murder to not have:

"I should be raising my son. His mother should be raising her son," Carruth said. "Ms. Adams should not be doing this and I want that responsibility back.

"I feel like he might not ever have his mother in his life but he could still have me and I could still make a difference and I don't think that's anyone's responsibility when I'm still here."

Carruth is claiming Saundra Adams (Cherica's mother and legal guardian of the child) is making up "lies" about him in order to prevent him from getting custody.

It is an ugly mess, unfortunately. It's also unsettling.

Carruth spent 17 years in jail for his crime.

(H/T ESPN)