I want you to get a few friends and pass out four beers to each of them. Next, I want you to race each other and drink them as fast you can. Might bother your stomach a little bit, but otherwise it could be worse, right?
Now, I want you to do that same thing again. Only this time, you have to run a mile while you do it, stopping four different times to chug a beer, and then keep going. Good luck, and welcome to the insane world of the competitive "Beer Mile."
The Beer Mile World Classic, an annual event, held this year in Vancouver, Canada, pits the world's top athletes in both beer chugging and mile running.
It's the best of both worlds, and one man stands tall above the rest.
Corey Bellemore, a 23-year-old Canadian-born runner, set a personal best in 2018 running a non-beer mile of 3:52.47. Bellemore also happens to be the beer mile world-record holder.
Last year in San Francisco, Bellemore set the new world record when he ran a mile, and chugged four 12-ounce Flying Monkeys, in 4 minutes and 33 seconds.
Yeah, you read that right.
This is insane. Try chugging four beers and walking up and down some steps, let alone chug four beers and run an entire mile.
At this year's event in Vancouver, Bellemore entered as the overwhelming favorite, and he exceeded all expectations, breaking his own world record by NINE SECONDS.
Bellemore was the belle of the ball until all his beer-soaked dreams came crashing down.
The Canadian was disqualified for not finishing the end of his beer. He broke the sacred vow and the unspoken truth of all alcoholic beverages.
Corey Bellemore committed the ultimate party foul.
Dale Clutterbuck, aka "King," won the event as a result of the disqualification — King happens to own the world's top beer mile performance while drinking Molson Canadian.
World record holder Corey Bellemore might have a grievance with the officiating on this one, but hopefully he's learned his lesson before next year.
Never leave the last mouthful of a 12-ounce can behind — turn that thing upside down, finish the job, and keep running.
Or in the case of most of us regular Joe drinkers, just grab me another beer.
And for the record: if you throw up during the beer mile, you're penalized an extra lap.
