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8 Ridiculous Quotes From "Talladega Nights" That Always Crack Us Up


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Before Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby came out, you had movies like Days of Thunder and Stroker Ace that catered to NASCAR fans, or at least folks who had an interest in learning more about the sport. But, when Will Ferrell put on the fire suit back in 2006, it introduced NASCAR to an entirely different demographic and brought absurd comedy into the mix in the best way possible.

The Adam McKay-directed comedy is absolutely stuffed with memorable quotes and one-liners as well as hilarious comedic performances from Ferrell, John C. Reilly, and Sacha Baron Cohen. With a movie that keeps the funny coming from the opening scene to the end credits, it was hard to pick our favorite quotes from the film, but here are eight lines from the movie that never fail to crack us up.

1. "Here's the deal: I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning, and I piss excellence." -- Ricky Bobby

If you follow NASCAR at all, then this moment probably had you laughing. The over-the-top cockiness brings to mind actual NASCAR drivers, like Kyle Busch or Brad Keselowski, who you could actually see saying the line after the race. Then, there's the whole mumbled trademark bit at the end, which just adds to the hilarity.

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2. "Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then f*** you." -- Ricky Bobby

Talladega Nights is rated PG-13, and the MPAA allows movies with this rating to use one F-bomb. We'd say that the filmmakers picked a fantastic, and unexpected, moment to let one rip.

3. "Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!" -- Ricky Bobby

In one of the most memorable scenes from the movie, they took one of the most dangerous and least funny parts about NASCAR, the wreck, and somehow made it hysterical. Mike Joy's serious commentary throughout the scene makes it all the more hilarious, while Darrell Waltrip's "How did he get down to his underwear that fast?" quip takes it over the top.

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4. "I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party." -- Cal Naughton, Jr.

Honestly, this entire dinner scene is chock-full of quotable lines, but the debate over what Jesus actually looks like is enough to make you do a spit take.

5. "I hope that both of you have sons. Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt." -- Ricky Bobby

The late Michael Clarke Duncan was primarily known for this serious roles, but he really shines in this scene where the overly-distraught Ricky lashes out at two of his closest friends. Also, if you didn't burst out laughing during the knife part, then we really don't know what to tell you.

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6. "This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons." -- Ricky Bobby

This is one of those quotes that most fans of the film probably don't remember, but it's another quick gag that's aimed at NASCAR fans, as it pokes fun at the excessive use of sponsors that grace NASCAR stock cars.

7. "I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!" -- Texas Ranger

Houston Tumlin and Grayson Russell, who played Ricky and Carley Bobby's sons Walker and Texas Ranger, seriously showed their comedic chops in their first big-screen roles. Honestly, we could watch an entire movie of these two just verbally ganging up on Chip.

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8. "From now on, you're the Magic Man, and I'm El Diablo." -- Ricky Bobby

Remember in Anchorman when Will Ferrell's Ron Burgundy character thinks that San Diego means "whale's vagina?" Well, he goes back to that well for this bit when Ricky introduces Cal to his new nickname: "El Diablo." It means "devil" in Spanish, but for some reason, Ricky thinks it means "fighting chicken." So good!

MORE: Dale Earnhardt's Cameo in Stroker Ace Is a Classic NASCAR Movie Moment

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