It's a tale as old as time. A rooster's former owners and its current owners disagree on whether the "comb" on said rooster's head should be trimmed or not.
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The rooster in question is the University of South Carolina's live rooster mascot, formerly known as Sir Big Spur. Why is "formerly" in front of the live mascot's longtime name? For one, the heated comb disagreement. Mary Snelling and Ron Albertelli, the rooster's original owners, trimmed the rooster formerly known as Sir Big Spur's comb — you know, the red area on top of its head — to make it look more like a fighting Gamecock. Beth and Van Clark, the rooster's new owners, want to keep the comb intact for health benefits.
All that being said, the agreement between Snelling, Albertelli and the university has expired, which puts USC on the hunt for the mascot's new name a week before the first football game of the season against Georgia State.
The State, Columbia, South Carolina's newspaper, broke the news yesterday and held a poll for readers to vote on which option they liked best. The Internet, right on brand, handled it with the utmost respect.
"Cock Commander" Sweeps the Internet
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A mere 17 hours ago, The State had all 10 of their suggestions listed in a poll. Our reporters are on the job, but the poll either expired or The State removed it because one name took an overwhelming lead. No, it wasn't Cluck Norris, Marco Pollo, Cock-a-Doodle-Dude or Coop. It was Cock Commander, who landed a commanding 69% of the popular vote.
The proposed name went viral, with media members far and wide discussing the news.
Godspeed to everyone working in TV and radio who has to say "cock commander" out loud today. I believe in you.
— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) August 25, 2022
Of course, the @ShutdownFullcas crew had to discuss the most important topic of the day: Cock Commander
🐓 https://t.co/5criV2uhNS pic.twitter.com/7pNQ2TBBi8
— Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz (@LeBatardShow) August 25, 2022
As for me, I demand South Carolina chooses Cock Commander. Anything else is disrespecting the voice of the people. College football is all about fans, right? Prove it. Choose Cock Commander. Or Cocky McCockface. Either one.
All in all, I wouldn't want to spend the last few football-free hours of the year on anything other than the Cock Commander debate.