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The “Fake Birth” Can Distract Any Shooter on Their Best Day
YouTube: Storied Rivals

BREAKING NEWS!

Proud parents of the Sheridan High School student section welcomed a baby boy on January 20, 2016. The child, a crew-cut sporting underclassman in grey sweatpants and red Nikes, entered the world to thunderous cheers and a brick.

After five, painstaking seconds of labor, the mother was relieved.

“This was the hardest thing I’ve done since asking Amy to the prom junior year.”

The Student Section Fake Birth

First documented by Storied Rivals, the new child is the pride of the Sheridan student section (@sheridanstusect), otherwise known as the Red Regiment.

“This kid is so special,” said senior Lance, who delivered the baby. “The miracle of birth changes you. I haven’t been this moved since I first listened to ‘Die Lit’ by Playboi Carti.”

In addition to pulling the heartstrings of encircling students, the birth proved to be a free-throw distraction for an opposing player.

The free-throw shooter tried to concentrate on the free-throw attempt but couldn’t take his eyes off the birth.

“It was beautiful,” he said. “Some things are bigger than high school basketball. My emotions got the best of me.”

Easy to understand why. The “Push! Push! Push!” chants were hard to ignore as they echoed through the gym in Thornville, Ohio.

As for the child, appropriately named Red, he’ll always remember this basketball game.

The youngster exclaimed, “A lot of people don’t remember their birth, but I will vividly. Under a hoop surrounded by my closest friends I’ll lose contact with as soon I leave this school. The memory holds a special place.”

With COVID-19 sweeping the news cycle and the NBA, MLB, and NHL all devising plans to come back, it’s nice to revisit heartwarming news. The coronavirus outbreak keeps people apart, six-feet to be exact, but sports bring people together. Childbirth even more so.

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Joe Grobeck About the author:
Joe is a graduate of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and lives in Austin, Texas. He believes Ndaumkong Suh should've won the 2009 Heisman and is an avid basketball fan.
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