I'm not going to sugarcoat it: The Los Angeles Dodgers have sex, and apparently a lot of it.
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That is, if you want to believe the internet, which has deduced some things following a slew of players being placed on paternity leave in recent days. Now, I'm not saying the Dodgers recreated the Minnesota Vikings' love boat nine months ago or anything (although, that makes this story sound a whole lot cooler), but the sextectives on Twitter have a theory behind all of the babies being born near Chavez Ravine.
Did the Dodgers Have a Baby-Making Palooza Last All-Star Break?
Photo by Brian Rothmuller/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images
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That is an absurd question to ask, and it's not really anyone's business. But it's fun as hell to talk about.
Let's stick to what we know:
April 18: Dodgers outfielder Mookie Betts is placed on paternity leave. He's reinstated on April 20.
April 20: Dodgers reliever Evan Phillips is placed on paternity leave, likely high-fiving Betts on his way to babyville. He's reinstated on April 25.
April 25: Dodgers third baseman Max Muncy is placed on paternity leave. Reliever Brusdar Graterol also joins him on paternity leave. Also, 2022 Dodgers outfielder Cody Bellinger, now with the Chicago Cubs, is placed on paternity leave.
So that's now five players from the 2022 Dodgers squad who've been placed on paternity leave in a span of eight days. Oh, and it gets better. Dodgers left-handed pitcher Caleb Ferguson and his wife, Carissa, are expecting a child in May. That would push that number to SIX players becoming dads all in a span of a week or two.
Cody Bellinger was placed on the paternity list.
He was a Dodger last year.
SOMEONE NEEDS TO START ASKING QUESTIONS
— Kelly Kirby (@thewonkypenguin) April 25, 2023
Mookie Betts, Evan Phillips, Max Muncy, Brusdar Graterol and Cody Bellinger were all on the Dodgers last season, and have all gone on paternity leave in the last week. https://t.co/v7BnfZnwEm
— Dodgers Nation (@DodgersNation) April 25, 2023
Mookie Betts, Max Muncy, Evan Phillips, Brusdar Graterol and now Cody Bellinger have all been placed on the paternity list in the last two weeks.
The Dodgers had more fun off the field than on the field during the 2022 All-Star Weekend in L.A. https://t.co/HoySbEGWYP
— Keith (@keithps22) April 25, 2023
So what gives? Why are so many 2022 Dodgers all of a sudden having babies with their significant others?
The theory going around Twitter is that all of these players, um, got very busy during last year's All-Star break. The 2022 All-Star Game was played on July 19, or about nine months ago. That's how long it takes between coitus and birth, for all the non-doctors out there.
Did it help that the All-Star game was in Los Angeles last year? And the Dodgers had six players on the All-Star roster, including Betts? Probably. And then there's the fact that the Dodgers were 51-21 at the time of the break, which was easily the best record in MLB. Were they so far ahead of everyone by this time that they could afford to have some fun off the field and made all the whoopee possible? That very well could be.
Regardless, it's hilarious that fans are trying to figure all this out. Anyway, congrats to the new Dodger dads. Here's some pictures of the adorable newborns:
Welcome to the world, Kaj Lynn Betts. Congratulations Mookie and Brianna on the birth of your son! pic.twitter.com/0pZ8AfaJ5k
— Los Angeles Dodgers (@Dodgers) April 26, 2023
