Look, history will tell you (and most fans across the United States) that the Dallas Cowboys are the one-and-only “America’s Team.” Recent years, however, built the unshakeable case that the New England Patriots earned that title. But nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, suggests that the lovable losers of Ohio’s “Mistake by the Lake” known as the Cleveland Browns would EVER lay claim to being “America’s Team.”
And yet, here I sit, watching a video about a franchise that’s reached the NFL playoffs TWICE IN 27 YEARS, and it actually suggests the Browns have now become “America’s Team.”
Do not adjust your settings. Someone was so delusional that this idea came to life after a 7-8-1 record in the 2018 season, which ended a run of seven-straight last place finishes in the AFC North and followed a combined 3-44 record the previous three seasons.
No, this isn’t some kind of pure, unfiltered comedy prank. They really believe they’ve become America’s Team…
Cleveland Browns: America’s Team…?
What planet am I on? Is this Neptune? Have I fallen into a space-time vortex and emerged in a different dimension? Since when did 12-straight losing seasons make Cleveland “America’s Team?”
I love a good laugh, but I don’t know how much more my heart can take.
I don’t know Clayton Braham at all, but he makes Cleveland-related hype videos for that fan base, including this one, and runs the Twitter account CLEology. I respect his loyalty to the city, but man, leave Jim Rome’s insane, preposterous, outrageous, ludicrous, factually-incorrect statement out of an otherwise really solid hype video.
No, the addition of Odell Beckham Jr. did not make Cleveland a Super Bowl contender no matter what Las Vegas led the city you to believe. No, Baker Mayfield is not Brett Favre reincarnate. Yes, Myles Garrett, Denzel Ward, Jarvis Landry and Nick Chubb are really solid football players, but c’mon now.
That. Does. Not. Make. You. America’s. Team.
We didn’t even escape the preseason and this was already happening. Freddie Kitchens and his zero career games as a head coach finished the year with a 6-10 record before getting fired. Cleveland still hasn’t posted a winning mark since 2007.
To all the Browns fans out there, PLEASE settle down.
This article was originally published August 27, 2019. It was updated after the 2019 NFL season when Cleveland, once again, was still not America’s Team.